I led a women’s study group this week and we’re diving into the book of Colossians. It’s good stuff. One of the things about Colossians, though, is that it causes you to dig deep and discuss identity and fruit. And that means examining roots and weeds and things of that nature. Which can lead to vulnerability. And that’s not always easy in a group setting. Because vulnerability doesn’t usually feel strong. Most of the time, it feels tender and exposed, like stepping out without your armor on. It can feel like saying, “Here I am, just as I am,” and hoping someone will meet you there with kindness.
And that? That takes courage. Especially when the world has taught us to keep it all together, to keep smiling no matter what, to only ask for help after we’ve tried everything else.
All that got me to thinking about what I’ve learned in the last few years about what strength really is, and I thought I’d share it here with you. So pour a cup of something warm, get cozy, and let’s talk like two friends over coffee.
The last few years have been hard, and they have taught me about a different kind of strength. Perhaps you’ve learned about it, too. I’ve learned that strength isn’t found in polished answers or perfect posture. Strength often shows up in deep breaths and honest prayers. Sometimes strength looks like showing up anyway, even when you feel a little unsure, and trusting that God will meet you right where you are. Vulnerability isn’t weakness. It’s a quiet kind of courage. And it might just be one of the most powerful tools God uses to draw us closer to Him and to each other.
Redefining Strength – Finding Courage in Vulnerability
Somewhere along the way, many of us picked up the idea that strength means not needing anything. Or at least, not needing help from anyone. That we should keep pushing, keep smiling, keep our struggles tucked neatly away. We think we’ll rest later, cry later, and ask for prayer after we’ve sorted it out.
But that’s not the strength Jesus showed.
“Jesus wept.” John 11:35 (NKJV)
“He was despised and rejected by men, a Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.” Isaiah 53:3 (NKJV)
Jesus wasn’t afraid to show emotion. He invited His friends to sit with Him when His soul was heavy. He asked the Father for help. He modeled a strength that wasn’t about control. It was about connection and surrender.
If He wasn’t afraid to be vulnerable, then it stands to reason that we don’t have to be either.
Real strength isn’t pretending everything’s fine. It’s having the courage to say, “Here’s where I am. I trust God’s still working in me.” That’s not weak. That’s brave.
The Risk and the Reward of Being Real
Yes, vulnerability is a risk. It means being open. It means choosing honesty when it would be easier to smile and change the subject. It means asking for help when you’d rather manage on your own.
But staying hidden can be lonely.
“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” James 5:16 (NLT)
Catch that. Pray for each other so that you may be healed. There is something is healing about opening up. Something freeing. And there’s so much comfort in hearing someone say, “I’ve been there too.”
Vulnerability invites connection. And connection reminds us we were never meant to walk this journey alone.
Why It Feels So Hard – Especially for Women Like Us
If you’re used to being the one others count on, the strong one, being vulnerable might feel especially uncomfortable. You might be the helper, the encourager, the one who keeps things moving forward. And you may have walked through hard seasons where being “strong” was the only way you knew to survive.
I understand. I’ve worn that label too.
Even strong women need space to rest.
“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 (NKJV)
It’s okay to need support. It’s okay to say, “I’m not okay right now.” When my Mom died in 2024, I had one friend that I could text and say, “I am not okay.” Without fail, she would start praying.
You don’t have to have all the answers. Being real doesn’t make you less. It makes you human. It makes you reachable. And it opens the door for God’s love and grace to come rushing in.
Vulnerability in Marriage, Motherhood, and Ministry
Marriage, motherhood, and ministry are some of the most meaningful parts of life. At least they are for me. They’re also places where it can feel scary to be vulnerable.
In marriage, we want to be close, but sometimes it’s easier to gloss over hurt feelings or insecurities. But connection grows when we gently say, “This is what I’m feeling right now,” and let our spouse meet us in that place.
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8 (NIV)
In motherhood? Oh friend. That’s a daily invitation to grace. Whether you’re raising littles or launching teens into the world, there’s so much pressure to get it right. But when we let other moms see our imperfect moments, we create community instead of competition. My friend, “B,” rocks as a mom. I was a little bit floored recently when we were chatting and she alluded to not having it all together in the mom’ing arena, because she always gives me the best mom’ing advice. Seriously, she’s pretty dang amazing, so I was just like, wow. If she struggles in the mom department, it’s no wonder I do. LOL.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.“ 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NKJV)
In ministry, especially if you’re leading or teaching, it can feel like you’re expected to always be the strong one. Our stories, especially the hard parts, are often what make our ministry the most powerful. It is difficult to lead in what we haven’t walked in. Our stories remind others that God meets us in real places, not just the pretty and polished ones.
God Meets Us in the Open
One of the most comforting truths I know is this: God doesn’t wait for us to have it all together. He meets us in the open. He draws near when we’re honest.
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18 (ESV)
“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7 (NLT)
You don’t have to clean yourself up before you come to Him. He welcomes your real, your raw, your in-process. And when you invite Him into the messy parts? That’s where healing begins.
What Vulnerability Is Not
Please do not hear what I’m not saying. Being vulnerable doesn’t mean sharing everything with everyone. It doesn’t mean ignoring healthy boundaries or pouring your heart out to people who haven’t earned your trust.
Being vulnerable simply means being honest. It means not pretending. It means letting a trusted friend in or sharing your story so someone else can be encouraged. It means asking for prayer or admitting that you don’t have all the answers.
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Proverbs 17:17 (NKJV)
Discernment matters. But so does the courage to let yourself be known.
An Invitation to Brave Openness
So here’s my gentle invitation to you, friend: What’s one small way you can lean into honesty today? Maybe it’s texting a friend and saying, “Could you pray for me?” Maybe it’s finally scheduling that counseling appointment. Maybe it’s simply whispering to God, “This is where I’m at.”
“Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.” Psalm 62:8 (NKJV)
Whatever it looks like, just know—you don’t have to do this alone. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be willing to show up as yourself, knowing God’s grace is already there waiting for you.
Vulnerability might feel scary, but it’s also where love takes root. Where connection grows. Where healing begins. And that, my friend, is a quiet kind of strength that will carry you farther than you know.
Now go ahead, pour that second cup of coffee (or tea). You’re not alone, and you’re braver than you think.
I would love to hear from you, especially if there is any way that I can pray for you this week! The best way to get in touch with me is by email. Email me via my website email at:
virginia@thatbaldchick. com (remove the extra space).
