I’m a Sisterhood of Motherhood Partner and am a sponsored blog partner, but all opinions are my own. Please see below for additional disclosure.
As Moms, we sometimes make decisions that we later feel guilty about. Like letting your 2yo have a cup of soda, when your older children had to wait until they were 3 to taste the bubbly. Or asking your 8yo to read to your 2yo because you may just lose YOUR marbles if you have to read There’s a Hole in My Pocket one more time. Each of these is enough to cause the dial to spin on the Mommy Guilt Meter.
From time to time, we HAVE to make decisions on behalf of our children that absolutely wreak havoc on the Mommy Guilt Meter.
This happened to me earlier this month, when my son had surgery to place bilateral BAHA (bone anchored hearing aid) studs, which is the first stage in restoring his hearing. Why would scheduling this surgery send the Mommy Guilt mercury into the stratosphere? I scheduled the surgery for his 8th birthday. He’d overheard my conversation with the surgeon’s nurse the day I scheduled the surgery and he was pretty mad. When I hung up the phone, he asked “Why did you do this to me?” I took a deep breath, choked back tears, and said, “I’m not doing this TO you, I’m doing this FOR you.”
We discussed several times why the surgery had to be scheduled for his birthday. We finally had insurance approval. His surgeon would be off most of December, but borrowed OR time from another surgeon to fit us in before the end of the year. We’d already met our deductible. If we waiting until a new insurance year, we risked having to start the approval process all over, and we’ve been working toward getting approval since his failed ear tube surgery in February. He understood. We celebrated his birthday early. But as we drove to the hospital the morning of his surgery, he said, “This is my worst birthday ever.” The tears flowed as I pulled into the parking garage, and all I could say was, “I’m so sorry.”
He cheered up a bit when the same day surgery staff, at St Louis Children’s Hospital, surprised him with gifts for his birthday.
He even had a smile for me before they whisked him away to the operating room.
His postoperative recovery was complicated by extreme nausea and vomiting, which required several doses of IV medicine and very nearly bought us an overnight stay.
I had to play the “Mommy is a nurse card” to get our discharge papers. As we drove home, he said it made him sad to feel so bad on his birthday. The tears flowed again as my Mommy Guilt Meter spun circles like a top.
We baked his birthday cake the next day.
It’s been two weeks since his surgery. He has forgiven me for ruining his birthday. In six months, when he’s able to apply the BAHA sound processors to the implants, it will have all been worth it. I know that one day he’ll appreciate it, but it still hurt this Mommy’s heart to make the tough decision to let the surgeon operate on his birthday.
Similac is encouraging Mommy’s everywhere to support one another through #UniteMonday, because we all have a Mommy Guilt Meter. Whether you’ve relaxed the rules, or made tough decisions on behalf of your children, we all need support from one another. Join me for #UniteMonday and let’s build one another up, instead of tearing each other down!
Disclosure: Similac partnered with bloggers such as me for its Sisterhood of Motherhood Program. As part of this program, I received compensation for my time. Similac believes that consumers and bloggers are free to form their own opinions and share them in their own words. Similac’s policies align with WOMMA Ethics Code, Federal Trade Commission (FTC) guidelines and social media engagement recommendations.