If you’ve ever felt trapped under the weight of shame, you’re not alone. I recently wrote about that in Breaking Free from Shame with God’s Truth. There we explored how shame has a way of whispering lies so loudly that they drown out God’s truth and how those lies try to convince us we’re beyond God’s love. That article walks through how we confront shame head-on with Scripture. But freedom doesn’t end there. Once we’ve broken free from shame’s grip, God doesn’t just leave us empty-handed—He welcomes us into His family. Now I want to talk to you about moving from shame to heir, from believing the enemy’s lies to living in God’s family as His beloved child.
There’s something about shame that clings. It’s like tar almost. It whispers in the quiet moments, drags up old mistakes, and tries to convince us that we’ll never measure up. I know those whispers well. Years ago, I carried the weight of shame like a backpack filled with bricks. Even after coming to Christ, I sometimes wondered if God really wanted me close or if He only tolerated me because He had to. Have you ever felt that way? Like you were the unwanted guest at God’s family table?
The truth is, shame is not our inheritance. Through Christ, we are brought into God’s family—not as tolerated houseguests, but as beloved sons and daughters. The journey from shame to heir is one that transforms everything about how we see ourselves, God, and even others.
The Heavy Chains of Shame
Shame doesn’t just say, “I did something wrong.” Shame says, “I am something wrong.” It attaches itself to our identity and tries to define us by our worst failures.
Maybe you know that weight too. For some, it comes from past sins. For others, from things that happened to them that were completely outside their control. Shame tells us we’re broken beyond repair.
I remember attending a service as a young adult and the pastor’s message on forgiveness wrecked me. I spent hours on my face in tears at home afterward as the Lord began a process of healing and forgiveness in my life, that started with the chains of shame from what others had done and said and eventually led to my own failures. I was a Christian, but I had replayed my own failures in my head for quite some time. I thought, Sure, God forgives everyone—but me? I don’t think He can forget what I’ve done.
The enemy loves to keep us there. Jesus Himself said the devil “was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him… for he is a liar and the father of it” John 8:44 (NKJV). Satan’s lies tell us our shame is permanent. But that’s not the truth of the gospel.
God’s Answer: Adoption into His Family
The Bible gives us a powerful picture of how God answers shame: adoption.
“For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, ‘Abba, Father’” Romans 8:15 (NKJV).
That word “Abba” is intimate—it’s like saying “Daddy.” We’re not just barely accepted into God’s kingdom. We’re embraced as children who belong.
Think of the prodigal son in Luke 15. He rehearsed his speech of shame, planning to tell his father he wasn’t worthy to be called a son anymore. But the father ran to him, wrapped him in a robe, put a ring on his finger, and threw a feast. The father didn’t restore him as a servant. He restored him as a son.
That’s how God welcomes us. He removes our shame and calls us His own.
From Labels to Loved
Shame gives us labels: unworthy, dirty, failure, not enough. God gives us a new name: His beloved child.
“See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are!” 1 John 3:1 (NLT).
It’s hard to live like a son or daughter when you still believe the old labels. That’s why transformation begins with renewing our minds. We need to replace the lies with truth.
For me, it took years of soaking in Scripture and reminding myself daily of what God says about me. I wrote verses on sticky notes and put them on my bathroom mirror. Every morning, I’d look in the mirror and say, I am chosen. I am forgiven. I am loved. Over time, the truth got louder than the lies. At one point, I covered an entire hallway wall in my apartment and when I would have a panic attack, I would stand in front of that wall and read the verses and truths out loud to stop the panic.
Maybe that’s a practice you can start too. Write down God’s words about you and speak truth over lies in your life. Shame fades when truth takes its place.
Living as Sons and Daughters
Adoption changes how we live. We no longer operate from fear or striving for approval. Instead, we live from a place of security.
Here are a few ways this shift shows up:
1. Confidence in God’s Presence
Instead of hiding like Adam and Eve did after they sinned, we can come boldly. “So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most” Hebrews 4:16 (NLT).
I used to feel like I had to “get it all together” before I could pray. Now I know my Father delights in me showing up as I am.
2. Freedom from Performance
Shame tells us we must earn love. Recognizing our role as an heir reminds us it’s already given. My kids don’t have to perform to earn their place in our family. They belong simply because they’re ours. The same is true for us with God.
3. Strength in Weakness
As sons and daughters, we don’t have to pretend to be strong. God’s power shines brightest in our weakness. “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness” 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NKJV).
I’ve seen this in my own parenting. The days I feel least capable are often the days God works most powerfully through me.
The Family Table
When God brings us into His family, He also brings us into a community with brothers and sisters.
Shame isolates. Heirship, or sonship, gathers.
I’ll never forget the first time I shared my story openly in a women’s group in my apartment living room. I expected judgment. Instead, I found grace. One woman gently reached her hand over and touched my shoulder and said, “Me too.” Suddenly, the shame I’d carried began to break.
That’s the beauty of God’s family. Around His table, there’s room for the broken, the healed, the still-in-process. We remind each other of who we are and whose we are.
Modern Day Stories of Transformation
I think of someone I love who battled addiction for years. Shame kept him trapped longer than the drugs did. But when he encountered Christ, he found not only forgiveness but a new identity. Today, he walks in freedom and shares at work with guys who are walking the same road he once did.
Or a mom I know who experienced the shame of a past abortion. She carried silent grief until God redeemed her story with Romans 8:1: “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus” (NLT). She now points other women to the same freedom she found.
These aren’t fairy tales. They’re real people experiencing the real love of the Father.
When Shame Tries to Creep Back
Even when we know the truth, shame still tries to sneak back in. The enemy doesn’t give up easily. That’s when we need to stand firm in our role as heirs.
And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering. Romans 8:17 (NLT)
I think of it like this: my kids sometimes mess up. They may even feel guilty for disappointing us. But nothing changes the fact that they are my children. I don’t revoke their place in the family. I help them grow.
The same is true with God. Our sin may grieve Him, but our place as His children is secure. “For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children” Romans 8:16 (NLT).
Practical Steps for Living as Heirs
Here are a few ways to daily embrace your place in God’s family:
- Spend time in Scripture. Fill your mind with truth. Focus on verses about God’s love, forgiveness, and adoption. Develop spiritual disciplines and a a daily devotional routine that work for your life.
- Pray honestly. Understand the power of prayer and talk to God as your Father. Share your heart without pretense. Get comfortable with praying out loud. Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word., you can even pray Scripture.
- Connect with others. Find a church or small group where grace and truth are lived out. Don’t walk alone.
- Practice gratitude. Thank God daily for making you His child. Gratitude strengthens our identity.
- Reject lies quickly. When shame whispers, answer it with truth from God’s Word. Recognize that you don’t have to win God’s approval.
A New Way of Living
Moving from shame to heirs is more than a one-time decision. It’s a daily choice to live as God’s beloved child. It means rejecting the lies of the enemy and embracing the truth of Scripture.
It’s the freedom of sitting at the Father’s table, knowing you belong—not because of what you’ve done, but because of who He is.
Questions to Pray Over
- When you think of God adopting you into His family, what feelings rise up in your heart? What does “Abba, Father” mean to you personally?
- Do you approach God’s presence with confidence or hesitation? Reflect on what makes it hard for you to come boldly, and write a prayer asking God to grow your trust.
- Write about a time when shame tried to pull you backward. How did God remind you of His grace?
- Take time to thank God for bringing you into His family. List out blessings that flow from being His child, both big and small.
- Who in my life might need to hear the truth of being an heir and freedom available from shame, and how can I share it with them?
If you’re ready to take the next step and make this truth personal, I’ve created an expanded set of guided From Shame to Heir Journal Prompts to go with this article. These prompts are rooted in Scripture and designed to help you reflect, pray, and embrace your place in God’s family. You can grab the printable here:
Print them for yourself, a friend, or use them in your small group.
Just Between Us
If you’ve been carrying shame, hear this: you are not too far gone, not too broken, not too unworthy. Through Christ, you are adopted, loved, and cherished.
“But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God” John 1:12 (NLT).
That’s your identity. That’s your inheritance.
So take off the heavy backpack of shame. Walk into the Father’s embrace. Live as His son or daughter, free and secure in His love. Learning that our confidence rooted in who God is requires us to learn to speak speak truth in our lives, and that means we have to recognize our rightful place as heirs to the Kingdom. You Are Who God Says You Are!
Prayer Prompt
Father, thank You for loving me enough to call me Your child. Help me to lay down the shame I’ve carried and to believe the truth of who I am in You. Teach me to walk daily in the freedom of being an heir with Christ, secure in Your love. Remind me that I belong at Your table, not because of anything I’ve done, but because of what Jesus has done for me. Fill my heart with gratitude, confidence, and peace as I live as Your beloved child. In Jesus name, amen.
