I was recently intrigued when I had the opportunity to interview Terence Chatmon. Terence Chatmon is the Chief Executive Officer of Victorious Family and is a leading voice in crisis management and transformational leadership for more than 30 years. He’s also the author of Do Your Children Believe?: Becoming Intentional About Your Family’s Faith and Spiritual Legacy. Chatmon believes that the current COVID crisis has revealed the true state of the family.
Do Your Children Believe
Y’all know that I am a parent of three amazing kiddos. I’ve told them, many times, that my ultimate goal in parenting is to see them become fully devoted followers of Christ. When I initially reviewed this book, I served as part of a Family Life Ministry Team in our local church. Well before the COVID crisis began, our Pastor at the time started imploring us to “Focus on families with children in the home.” Given that our team had been processing and responding to the call to focus on families with children in the home, I took advantage of the opportunity to interview Mr. Chatmon. For what it’s worth, I rarely interview book authors for my site. It’s just not something I’ve ever really done.
Book Description
From the publisher, Thomas Nelson: “As parents, we all want our children to enjoy a vibrant relationship with Christ. But how many of us ever attach this hope to a concrete discipleship plan? In this practical study of intergenerational faith, Chatmon offers step-by-step guidance for how to lay a spiritual “track” in front of the fast-moving train of family life.”
Interview with Terence Chatmon
I should clarify that my interview with Terence Chatmon was by email. Since I recently failed a hearing test, I avoid talking on the phone whenever possible. I emailed my questions, and the responses follow:
Question:
According to the Do Your Children Believe website, you’ve served in leadership roles with several Fortune 50 companies, but felt you were failing to become the spiritual leader of your home. What led you to believe you were failing to act as the spiritual leader for your family?
Answer:
I had abdicated the responsibility to the local church and my spouse.
Question:
What changes, or fruit, did you see in the lives of your own family through implementing the strategies you discuss in Do Your Children Believe?
Answer: Family unity, strong spiritual foundations, strong biblical worldviews, a deeper relationship with the Lord, reprioritization of non-negotiables, a stronger and healthier family, children who are dedicated to the Lord, ministry work and involvement, Strong marriages, and importantly, salvations.
Question:
How might implementing these strategies look different for a single parent versus a two-parent household? Or in a two-parent household where only one parent is a believer?
Answer:
The core principles of our teaching don’t change regardless of the authority structure.
The key is that the person (s) in authority of the children be equipped and responsible.
In regards to a two-parent household where only one parent is a believer, it is no doubt a challenge but even increases the need for a strong spiritual foundation. We are to teach our children about intercessory prayer. we are to pray without ceasing. We have seen marriages be reconciled. We have seen marriages struggle. All parents desire to see their children have a better life than them. Kids need a spiritual foundation of faith.
The implementation of the process looks different if the non-believing parents decides to not participate in the discussions and family plan process. The conversation has a different starting point but the destination is still the same.
Question:
Aside from recommending Do Your Children Believe to parents, how can the church effectively partner with parents to ensure that they are developing a spiritual legacy for their children that will survive the test of time?
Answer:
Churches are to make mature and equipped followers of Christ.
I am advocating that the process be home centered and church supported verses church centered and home supported.
What if the healthiest families came from the church?
A church can encourage and train every parent to have an intentional plan for raising kids in the Lord. That is our parenting mandate. Ephesians 6:4, Deut 6, 7 etc.
If the home and church does not take their rightful position in our society, the home will turn to the worlds influences.
No nation can rise beyond its spiritual condition! We have no option but to rise up NOW.
My Thoughts
First, and foremost, when I read Mr. Chatmon’s response of, “I am advocating that the process be home centered and church supported versus church centered and home-supported” I was like, YES! YES! YES!
The fact of the matter is, the children’s pastor or youth pastor only has your child for 1-3 hours per week — before COVID. Our hope, as ministry leaders, is to come alongside parents and support them in their role as spiritual guides for their children. We want to help parents develop their family discipleship plan.
As for the book? On page 35, he writes, “When we become truly serious about doing something different in regard to the spiritual discipleship of our children, we need to flip the switch to a new kind of planning, and we need to do it now.” I cannot agree more. We plan for vacations. Most people also plan for retirement. We absolutely should have a plan for the spiritual development of our families. We need to be the one’s teaching our kids these simple truths about God, at an age-appropriate level.
God always keeps His promises.
God gives us rules that we must obey.
God’s rules are meant to keep us safe.
Even when Mommy or Daddy can’t see what they are doing, God sees it.
God disciplines us because He loves us.
Jesus is the one and only Son of God.
Jesus loved us so much that he died for us and He prays for us even now.
One day, if we love Jesus, we’ll be in Heaven with him.
This book is challenging and insightful. It affirms that family discipleship is practical, possible, and preferred to leaving it up to chance. I firmly believe this book would make a great gift for any parent, and I’ve gifted many copies since I read it five years ago. I like to include it in baby shower gifts when possible. I also think this book can be utilized by churches, when budget allows, to equip and empower parents to become the spiritual leaders in their own families.
Whether you’re homeschooling your child, like we are, or not, if you’re a Christian parent, it’s ultimately up to you to lead your child to Christ. I had the privilege of leading all three of my children to Christ, and there is nothing like it in the world, knowing that they all committed their hearts to Jesus.
What We Changed Back Then
I’ll be the first to say, even though it’s been five years since I’ve read the book, and I’m now an assistant pastor, we still don’t have it all fleshed out. Our discipleship plan for our children changed several times as our children grew. After reading this book initially, in 2020, we made several changes.
I made it a point to add worship into our daily schedule along with our morning devotions. The kids each were able to pick a worship song, and we worshiped together as a family. Adding in worship was a natural thing to do back then.
Now they are 12, 16, and 17 and it seems like we are always on the go. They have control of the van playlist and we either play Joy FM or Boost Radio or the Worship Playlist on Spotify as we drive places. One kiddo sings on the worship team at church, while another helps on the tech team at church and another serves in the preschool. Two recently joined the praise dance team at church and really enjoyed that. We’ll see if that turns into something they do again or not.
Back then, we added daily affirmations. We did those until a life event changed our homeschool altogether, and I’m not really permitted to discuss that at this time, so that’s that. Suffice it to say, it was over a year of daily affirmations with the kiddos.
Although it’s been a while, I will occasionally recite the affirmation that we used back then, and they will smile and recite it back to me. Mostly, though, we just remind the kids to speak out loud who the Bible says they are. That is what an affirmation is. Saying who we really are.
Back then were already using several devotionals, like Indescribable, which is one of the faith and science devotionals by Louie Giglio, and Our Daily Bread for Kids: 365 Meaningful Moments with God, during our morning gathering time together. I was helping them learn how to memorize Scripture. This was especially difficult for one kiddo with learning challenges. We continued those things. We continued things like Sunday school and Awana and such.
Now that they are older, they each have their own devotional time, and we try to talk about what they are reading. Sometimes the conversations go really well. Sometimes the conversations are monosyllabic responses. I do miss the morning gather time with them, but also appreciate that they are at an age where their faith needs to become their own. And so, when they actually do have the conversations, like “Mom, why does the Bible say I have to forgive so many times? That kinda sucks!” It makes it so much more meaningful. Two attend one youth group on Tuesday evenings and one attends another youth group on Wednesdays. One doesn’t attend youth group at all, but occasionally has conversations with a trusted adult that appear to be meaningful.
Back to School
As we plan for their back-to-school time, I will make sure to plan for them to have a new devotional to go along with their studies. But now instead of me picking their devotionals, they will get a say in what they’ll use for devotional. Which is fun. They also get to choose their journals — right now the girls make it super easy on me and get the same journal in different colors… and my son doesn’t want one at all. And while that is the plan for this year, I’m sure with one headed to college next year, the plan will change — yet again.
Speaking of back to school.
More and more families are joining the ranks of homeschoolers each year. With all of the uncertainty surrounding what public school will look like every year, many parents are adding the role of educator to their list of parental duties.
If you’re choosing a curriculum and have a tight budget, check out this list of free resources for home education.
One of the scary and overwhelming things about making the leap into homeschooling is the financial aspect of it, especially if you are Homeschooling Multiple Grades or if you are Homeschooling the Uncooperative Child.
Curriculum can be expensive (although it doesn’t have to be) and one of the parents might have to quit their job or cut their hours to help make homeschooling a reality for their family. While working and homeschooling or being a one-income family is doable, it does require some sacrifice and sometimes that means tightening the budget.
