Where DID Mom put that Hershey Chocolate Bar? I know it’s in here SOMEWHERE.
Wait, is that it…
Gold. Pure gold. Chocolate that is.
Quick, Sissy, I need the step stool.
Look, I’ll share with you, since you DID give me the step stool. But, I did all the climbing work, so I get a bigger piece.
Of course, he got the stern talking to.
You know, the one that goes, “You can’t climb on the counters, because it’s not safe. You could fall and break your arm, or leg, or worse. If you want chocolate, you have to ask for it. We put some stuff up high because it has nuts in it, and you can’t have nuts because you’re allergic to them. No, no this chocolate bar does not have nuts in it. However, in the future if you want a piece of chocolate, you have to ask for it, because you can’t read the label, so you wouldn’t know if it had nuts. How do you spell nut? Well, it’s spelled n-u-t, but that is besides the point. If you want chocolate, you have to ask for it. Where would it be on the label? It’d be right here, in the ingredients. But it could say almond, or cashew, or peanut instead of just nut. No, you’re not allergic to almonds and cashews, just peanuts. No, you can’t have cashews and almonds, even though you’re not allergic to them. Why? Well, the doctor said to avoid all nuts because a lot of the time other nus are processed on the same equipment as peanuts. You’re missing the point, here, son. If you want chocolate, you have to ask for it. What? No, I can’t just call and ask if the other nuts have been on the same equipment as peanuts.”
“Listen. To. Me. The. Point. Is. If. You. Want. Chocolate. You. Have. To. Ask. For. It.”
Mister: “Oh. Mom, can I have this chocolate?”
Seriously, though, I was more impressed than I was upset. That little bit of chocolate reconnaissance took some serious problem solving skills. And he is, after all, his mother’s son… lover of all things chocolate.