A years ago, my Mother-in-Law blessed me with a copy of The 5 Love Languages of Children. She knows that one of my all time favorite non-fiction books is The Five Love Languages, written by Gary Chapman, and that I make an effort to read it every year. It made sense, then, that as a new Mom, I would enjoy and come to treasure the book that details how to best love your child in the love language that he or she speaks.
Considering that I frequently think my child speaks a different language altogether, she couldn’t have picked a better book for me. As a 21 years old, it made sense to me that my Dad speaks an entirely different love language than I do. I don’t know why, then, as a thirty something parent, I was flabbergasted to realize that my child doesn’t speak the same love language as me. But… it’s MY child. Of course their love language should be the same…
In fact, both of my children speak a different language.
My primary love language is Words of Affirmation. Words have the power to build me up, or tear me down. Mister’s primary love language is quality time. He feels most loved when I play a game with him, read him a book, watch a show sitting next to him, etc. Sister, on the other hand, speaks love through physical touch. She feels most loved when I hug her, pick her up, let her sit on my lap, massage her shoulders, etc.
Did you catch that? Neither one of those are words of affirmation. I have to love my kids differently than I feel loved. And their attitudes and behavior will strongly reflect how well I am doing. When children feel loved, they do their best. I know, for example, that when my daughter throws fit after fit after fit, she hasn’t been getting enough hugs. I also know that when my son gets sullen or starts to back talk, he feels like I haven’t been spending enough time with him.
I love that The 5 Love Languages of Children has helped me discover Mister and Sister’s primary language and what I can do to effectively convey unconditional feelings of respect, affection, and commitment that ensures they know they are loved beyond measure. It isn’t always easy to love someone in a language that isn’t your primary love language. But knowing is half the battle.
The 5 Love Languages of Children is available wherever books are sold, including many Christian retailers and on Amazon. It would make a great gift for Mom this Mother’s Day or Dad this Father’s Day.
If you haven’t already, also check out A Perfect Pet for Peyton, a new book by Rick Osborne and Gary Chapman, designed to help children understand the love languages. My kids love it!
***Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention it on my blog. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.***
***I originally received The Five Love Languages of Children as a gift from my Mother-in-Law. I also received a review copy of from the publisher. I have donated my extra copy to our church resource library.***